So we made a camping trip out of our Moab adventure! I'll make another post with our lovely pictures, but today we're going to talk about fear, children. On the way up to Moab...
Interruption: Ok so I always thought St. George and Moab were close.... not so. 5 hour drive. Carry on...
...we used this list to keep the conversation flowing during the long car ride. Note: I can't stand just listening to an iPod for long car rides. I've made a vow to stay awake with Nathan (he's usually the driver) and there's no way I can do that with no talking + music, so I always INSIST that we talk (Staying awake in the car is a BIG DEAL for me btw). We usually do a pretty good job of keeping the convo flow, but I found the list of questions on Pinterest so I thought we could give it a go.
Question number two is: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
My first two were a tie between deep, open water (this includes sharks and other big water creatures... yes whales... ) and heights. My third was getting into a car accident (I've avoided one thus far... and now I've just jinxed myself... great...). I thought it was interesting that we had this deep discussion about fear and heights and I had no idea I was about to be faced with THE most terrifying situation I've ever been in.
My fear of water gets me panicky, but I've shown myself that it's a mind-over-matter thing. The scariest water moment for me was when I was staying with my friend Cami at her house on the Finger Lakes in New York. I purposefully jumped out of her boat so I could swim to shore. I instantly started freaking out in my head and pictured the millions of gallons of water beneath me waiting to swallow me up. I also pictured sharks and evil Atlaneans dragging me down to my doom. In a fresh-water lake. But fears are never completely rational are they? So I tried not to hyperventilate and swam as quickly as I could (in my mind I was trying to do this:)
and I made it to shore. Not so bad. I was freaked out a little by swimming with dolphins. Dolphins! Every time one swam up beside me I was like SHARK! Awww, nice dolphin...
But I didn't let it stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Mind over matter.
Heights however are another thing. I have been to the top of the Empire State Building... but I stayed nice and safe in the gift shop after a two-second peek outside. I chose to not view Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Crossing the Clifton Suspension Bridge by foot (twice...oy... that's a picture of it to the right) was difficult for me. I don't just freak our inside my head... I have an actual physical reaction that I can't help. My knees buckle, I swoon, and my body wants nothing more than to crawl back to terra firma. I keep putting myself in these situations because I don't want to miss out on things in life! I already regret not going up the Eiffel Tower (though I know I would have hated it).
So that leads us to our camping/hiking adventure in Arches National Park. I knew I wanted to see the Delicate Arch the most out of all the arches in Arches. You know, the one on the license plate:
We got there early, knowing it was the most popular hike and that it'd be cooler in the morning. The only problem is that with not a lot of people around, there wasn't anyone to follow and we lost the path a bit. There's about 15 minutes of just slick-rock (imagine walking on the top half of a basketball made of sandstone) so no dirt or trees to create a real trail. We just followed voices that lead us to the edge of a gigantic bowl. Below you can see the arch at the opposite end of the bowl.
We were like..... that's not the famous view... That's a cool view, but not the view. How the heck to we get over there?? Now... do you see those little dots along the rim of the bowl? Yeah, those are people inching their way up against the Dr. Seuss mountains. We made our way over to where they are and saw that there was about a foot and a half of "walkable" space (and in some spots less... like rely-on-the-traction-of-your-shoes). I immediately said, "Aw Heeeeeeell to the no." But I was super disappointed that I couldn't get to see the Arch from the angle it was intended to be seen! And all these other people were going just fine! They were even calling back to me, "Oh it's not so bad at all! Well, this part is tricky, but it's really not that bad!" So, in a moment of insanity/courage I just started inching my way...
Pretty much immediately I started to crumple mentally and physically. My face was pressed up to the rock wall, my knees were shaking, I started to hyperventilate, and I was clawing my hands into whatever crevice I could find. I couldn't do it. But not only could I not make it to the other side... I wasn't sure if I could turn around and make it back. Nathan, bless him, saw my plight and actually walked AROUND ME (I still have no idea how he did that) and insisted we go back. Of course I agreed, but DANG IT I WANTED A PICTURE OF THE STUPID FAMOUS ARCH. And now he was in my way. So as i'm bawling my eyes out, I yell, "Get out of my way! I still want a picture." So I snapped a shot (I'll post it next time) and did an about-face.
It got worse.
When I turned around I could not believe how far I'd already come... and how far I had to go to get back Why, WHY did I think I could do this? I was close to throwing up and I couldn't confidently put one foot in front of the other. My dear dear husband even put his foot out for me to step on and use as an anchor at one point. So I mustered up every bit of will power I could and FINALLY made it back to where I could run and find a rock and calm myself down.
But now what? There HAD to be another way to get to the arch! This way was way too dangerous to be the only way to go! So we did a bit of exploring to find...duh... the actual, clearly-marked path. We felt like morons, and I was mad that I didn't have to go through moments of sheer terror if we'd only stayed on the path and not been led astray by others (well hello there metaphor, I didn't see you come in...). The real, man-made path to the arch was better... but still terrifying. Seriously people, some handrails!!! That's how I was able to handle the Grand Canyon! Simple handrails would be appreciated next to your sheer cliffs and 1 billion foot drop-offs! Kthnx.
Question number two is: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
My first two were a tie between deep, open water (this includes sharks and other big water creatures... yes whales... ) and heights. My third was getting into a car accident (I've avoided one thus far... and now I've just jinxed myself... great...). I thought it was interesting that we had this deep discussion about fear and heights and I had no idea I was about to be faced with THE most terrifying situation I've ever been in.
My fear of water gets me panicky, but I've shown myself that it's a mind-over-matter thing. The scariest water moment for me was when I was staying with my friend Cami at her house on the Finger Lakes in New York. I purposefully jumped out of her boat so I could swim to shore. I instantly started freaking out in my head and pictured the millions of gallons of water beneath me waiting to swallow me up. I also pictured sharks and evil Atlaneans dragging me down to my doom. In a fresh-water lake. But fears are never completely rational are they? So I tried not to hyperventilate and swam as quickly as I could (in my mind I was trying to do this:)
and I made it to shore. Not so bad. I was freaked out a little by swimming with dolphins. Dolphins! Every time one swam up beside me I was like SHARK! Awww, nice dolphin... But I didn't let it stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Mind over matter.
So that leads us to our camping/hiking adventure in Arches National Park. I knew I wanted to see the Delicate Arch the most out of all the arches in Arches. You know, the one on the license plate:
We got there early, knowing it was the most popular hike and that it'd be cooler in the morning. The only problem is that with not a lot of people around, there wasn't anyone to follow and we lost the path a bit. There's about 15 minutes of just slick-rock (imagine walking on the top half of a basketball made of sandstone) so no dirt or trees to create a real trail. We just followed voices that lead us to the edge of a gigantic bowl. Below you can see the arch at the opposite end of the bowl.
Pretty much immediately I started to crumple mentally and physically. My face was pressed up to the rock wall, my knees were shaking, I started to hyperventilate, and I was clawing my hands into whatever crevice I could find. I couldn't do it. But not only could I not make it to the other side... I wasn't sure if I could turn around and make it back. Nathan, bless him, saw my plight and actually walked AROUND ME (I still have no idea how he did that) and insisted we go back. Of course I agreed, but DANG IT I WANTED A PICTURE OF THE STUPID FAMOUS ARCH. And now he was in my way. So as i'm bawling my eyes out, I yell, "Get out of my way! I still want a picture." So I snapped a shot (I'll post it next time) and did an about-face.
It got worse.
When I turned around I could not believe how far I'd already come... and how far I had to go to get back Why, WHY did I think I could do this? I was close to throwing up and I couldn't confidently put one foot in front of the other. My dear dear husband even put his foot out for me to step on and use as an anchor at one point. So I mustered up every bit of will power I could and FINALLY made it back to where I could run and find a rock and calm myself down.
But now what? There HAD to be another way to get to the arch! This way was way too dangerous to be the only way to go! So we did a bit of exploring to find...duh... the actual, clearly-marked path. We felt like morons, and I was mad that I didn't have to go through moments of sheer terror if we'd only stayed on the path and not been led astray by others (well hello there metaphor, I didn't see you come in...). The real, man-made path to the arch was better... but still terrifying. Seriously people, some handrails!!! That's how I was able to handle the Grand Canyon! Simple handrails would be appreciated next to your sheer cliffs and 1 billion foot drop-offs! Kthnx.
I made it!
And I got my stupid picture.
It really was beautiful. These land formations are really worth seeing in person. My favorite thing to do in life is to marvel at creation. I feel the most spiritual and thankful when I take in natural wonders like these. It was all worth it :)
Oh and there was a funny French lady on the way back down that saw me clinging to the wall, getting as far away from the edge as I could, that was gesturing to me and telling me not to look down and to "regardez le mur."
So I was not happy that I wasn't able to conquer my fear like I had set out to do... but you know what? I found a better and safer way to get to where I wanted to be. I don't think I need to take unnecessary risks just to prove something, whether to myself or someone else... like skydiving (which is why I didn't go back in September. I didn't want to, I would have hated it, therefore I did not go). I think it was a big deal that I went the intended route. I did it. Yay for me.
So I was not happy that I wasn't able to conquer my fear like I had set out to do... but you know what? I found a better and safer way to get to where I wanted to be. I don't think I need to take unnecessary risks just to prove something, whether to myself or someone else... like skydiving (which is why I didn't go back in September. I didn't want to, I would have hated it, therefore I did not go). I think it was a big deal that I went the intended route. I did it. Yay for me.
1 comment:
This is funny...but the Dora the Explorer song she sings at the end of the show keeps going through my head. "You did it! You did it!" I don't mean just taking a picture of the Arch (although that was an amazing feat and terrifying for me to read about). The greater success was realizing that you don't have to take the hardest, most dangerous path to feel a sense of accomplishment and wonder. Oops, now that I've said it, it sounds like a Mom thing to be ignored so forget that and reread what YOU wrote. hehe LOVE YOU!
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